I repeatedly turned down Man Utd tickets because of the toilets

‘I’m not quite ready.’

‘Maybe I’ll come to the next game.’

Just two of the excuses I made to avoid going to football matches with friends.

I’ve been a Man Utd fan since I was a boy and always loved going down the road to watch my local team.

But a few years ago, I couldn’t even think of going to a game – because, due to prostate cancer treatment, I was incontinent.

I was constantly considering how much queuing there would be on the transport, outside the ground, at the toilet.

Then, there was the lack of sanitary bins for male incontinence products, which meant I was terrified to go anywhere for months.

I found out I had prostate cancer after breaking my shoulder in 2021. I was 54 at the time.

My doctor mentioned it would be a good time to do a protein-specific antigen (PSA) blood test because of my age. I know now that I should have had it checked when I was younger as my dad had prostate cancer, but the doctors didn’t know this. A raised PSA level could indicate an issue with the prostate, including prostate cancer.

The prostate is a small gland located below the bladder and in front of the rectum in men. Its main function is producing seminal fluid, but it also helps regulate urination.

When the results came back with a high PSA level, I underwent further tests and it was a constant battle in my head between remaining positive and thinking I was going to die.

And it was a massive shock to hear the words ‘I’m sorry, the results are positive; you have prostate cancer’.

Luckily, the cancer had been caught early and I had treatment options: Radiotherapy or surgery to remove the prostate. I opted for surgery, because my cancer was contained in the prostate.

Having the prostate removed meant the chance of it spreading was really reduced, and it was a quicker process – in and out in a day. I had to recuperate at home, but it was less lengthy than 6-8 months of radiotherapy, which can make you feel very unwell.

The surgery was successful, but the aftermath was the most difficult part.

I became incontinent due to the surgery causing unavoidable damage to nerves and muscles that control urination. I had a catheter for a week, and when that was out, I was in unknown territory.

I got incontinence pads, which need changing at least once or twice a day, and this became a big stress.

Imagine an open tap. Honestly, nothing can prepare you for the lack of control. I worried constantly: Will I leak? Will I be able to find anywhere to change my pad?

For the first few months, I didn’t want to go out too far because the incontinence was so bad.

I got used to the safety of home and, even when I felt like I could go out, I was very reluctant to do so in case of leaks.

Luckily my wife owns a café about half a mile from our home, so when I did venture out after a month or so, it was only a short walk and I knew I would have somewhere to change.

I slowly started to gain more confidence, going out for longer walks or even starting to go to a local bar for a drink. But even then it was like a military exercise. I had to estimate how long I was going to be out, how many pads I’d need, and whether there would be somewhere to change them.

I would never go anywhere that I might have to wait in line or where I knew there wouldn’t be bins for my pads, which meant going to football was definitely out of the question.

I had phone calls and messages from friends, with invites to games – but I couldn’t accept. Instead, I made excuses.

I didn’t like lying, but when your head is down, it is hard to pull yourself up. Looking back you realise how easy it is to retreat into yourself. I wanted to stay in the safe place that was home.

I was terrified of being stuck somewhere without being able to change my pad when I needed to.

Imagine an open tap. Honestly, nothing can prepare you for the lack of control.

The overriding feeling was one of embarrassment for having to wear a pad and for having to carry my used pads around with me, due to a lack of bins.

When I eventually started being honest with them, my friends, rightfully, would say: ‘You have had major surgery to get rid of cancer, the incontinence is a byproduct of that and it won’t last forever’.

Of course, they were right – and I knew that. But it remained difficult to get past the embarrassment of walking through a packed room with a used pad in my pocket, looking for somewhere to dispose of it.

I used to have to take out doggy bags, fill them with my used pads, and pack them in my bag. It’s almost impossible not to feel self-conscious about that.

And I was just one of the nearly 80% of people who feel anxious about leaving their homes because they don’t know if there will be somewhere to dispose of their incontinence pads.

Having something as simple as purpose-built bins would have made such a difference for me and, I’m sure, many other men. I would have 100% gone to matches or watched games with my friends at the pub if I’d known there would be a bin.

That’s why I wanted to share my story as part of the Prostate Cancer UK and phs Group’s Back in the Game campaign, which asks clubs to implement the BOG STANDARD and install male incontinence bins and pads in its toilets, as well as raise awareness of prostate cancer and incontinence, which I wholeheartedly support.

As a Manchester United fan, it was a big deal for me to see the club becoming the first in the Premier League to do exactly this in November 2024.

I’ve been back to Old Trafford since the bins have been installed, and it just made me think of how many men who can get back in the game now. They can sit in the stands and concentrate on the game, because they know they’re covered. It would have made such a massive difference to me when I was struggling most.

I really hope other clubs follow suit so that fans dealing with incontinence don’t miss out on match days – but we shouldn’t stop there. We need more incontinence bins in male toilets across the country. Restaurants, pubs, stadiums – everywhere.

My incontinence is much better these days – I have control over my life again – and the Back in the Game campaign has given me more confidence to talk about the impact of prostate cancer.

I may never be 100% dry again and I’ve accepted that. But it’s great to know that I can get back in the stands confident my club is looking after me – so I can, finally, get back to the game I love.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing izzie.price@metro.co.uk.

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